Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
