ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
