I need help removing her.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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