Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
