ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
