there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize