Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
