this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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