your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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