If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Randomize
