I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
did i just pee glitter
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
PANTIES FOUND
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