I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
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