If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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