38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
