Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
