I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
