somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
