I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
