I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Less talking, more tequila
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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