Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
