If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
