New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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