Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
