the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
