Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
