Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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