I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
