You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
