I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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