I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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