I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize