the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
