The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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