I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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