I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
