Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
