dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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