And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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