A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
