Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
