We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
