Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
