So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
vagina is talking i cant
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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