I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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