god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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