okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
