I CAN MOONWALK!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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