So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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