We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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