I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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