just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
