Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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