What did we do last night that was yellow?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
