He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
