Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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