On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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