tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
