I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
