Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
