Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
me + whiskey = a bad person
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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